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Archive for the ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’ Category

Ishpeming Red Berries, photo copyright Kim Nixon

Today my thoughts circle around Seasonal Affective Disorder in part due to an article I must start/complete/submit today. But also as I feel that deep-dip. The sinking feeling that I am not enough. That I should hide-out under the covers and read novels away from those I love. The feeling that I may panic if I have to look outside myself toward the world. I do know we all have moments like this, but with a layer of Seasonal kicking in it gets more challenging.

Over the holidays I tried to stick to a regime of physical activity, clean foods, and supplements. But you know how it goes I was far from a routine the last couple of weeks. I ate far less nutrient rich food, less fruit, less whole grains. I did not take my multi-vitamin, Omega 3s, extra D vitamins, nor did I take my melatonin and 5HTP. Do these things help! As Sarah Palin would say, “You betcha’ (wink).”

What also helps is to have a loving supportive partner, I have Mike. But I did not lean on him as much in the past week. His son was here and I did not want to be a distraction. I put my panic attacks on the back burner. There are times I need constant reassurance while under the affects of winter. For the last week I was “going it alone” more than I am used to. And I was doing “new” stuff. The stuff that puts you “out there” in the world.

On top of it all I am tackling a weight issue that also affects my self-esteem and has gotten to a crucial point. As I realize all those issues that have driven me to eat–all the emotional responses–Yikes! I will save these realizations for another post over at The Dailies. But as new understandings came forward I was throttled, again.

Then there is a splash of color in winter. A moment of Joy! The moment I sunk in a swamp while looking at a high ridge with a ski-jump in exhilarating cold. Then there is that flash of a boy-ish smile where Mike’s face lights up. These things keep pulling me out. They make me look behind things, like that door in the photo that I wanted to look behind. These moments pull me out of myself. I find a way to get out of the sludge of  S.A.D. and carry-on.

For more color-shots visit my Red Set at Flickr.

Ishpeming Red Berries on White, photo copyright Kim Nixon

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